| Author | Message | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Intermediate Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2003 Registered: 12-2003 |
The Curious Naturalist On her walk along the creek's edge, yellow violets, blue-eyed grass. What is this bloom? Must be out of place, she can't identify it, has been through all her books, seems it does not exist. Tiny bells on graceful green stems are touched by the wind, but do not ring. Perhaps its seed was carried here on the hummingbird's wing. Fragile mauve cups upside down, columbine, twinflower. Out of the ordinary, this wild flower has caught her surprise. Pale yellow petals alight in the shade. She may never know what it is, but will remember what she could not name. | ||
| E V Brooks
Intermediate Member Username: lia Post Number: 1104 Registered: 12-2003 |
Beautiful writing Kathy. Your final stanza is lovely.. I also loved these two lines in particular; 'Perhaps its seed was carried here on the hummingbird's wing.' Much enjoyed, Lia | ||
| Zephyr
Intermediate Member Username: zephyr Post Number: 2732 Registered: 07-2003 |
Lovely poem Kathy, you have captured the essence of the naturalist, thinking beyond the obvious as in the hummingbird line.  | ||
| Christopher T George
Intermediate Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 1194 Registered: 12-2004 |
Hi Kathy Nice writing, much enjoyed. How often have we all seen a flower or a bird we wish we could name. . . Might I suggest that you tell a bit too much rather than show in "graceful" and "fragile" and there you are I think a bit less persuasive than in the poem overall? I think this would be easily correctable. Good luck in revising this fine poem, Kathy. All my best Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 2364 Registered: 07-2002 |
Kathy, Nice finish here: She may never know what it is, but will remember what she could not name. Lovely images and Chris has give you some good suggestions for revision. best, ljc | ||
| M. Kathryn Black
Advanced Member Username: kathryn Post Number: 2468 Registered: 09-2002 |
Kathy, wonderful writing. I wish I knew the names of wildflowers and trees better. Best, Kathryn | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Intermediate Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2007 Registered: 12-2003 |
Lia, thank you very much. Zephyr, thank you very much. Chris, thank you. This is a flower I'm trying to identify right now. Just can't find it in any book or on the net. Thanks for the suggestions too. I have revised. Lisa, thank you too. Kathyrn, thank you too. I never knew many, but I sure am learning now. Except for this one that I can't identify. K | ||
| M
Moderator Username: mjm Post Number: 3107 Registered: 11-1998 |
Lovely work, Kathy. I never know just what these trees and flowers are called. To me, they are just beauty, I suppose. Thanks for capturing a surprising and calm moment there among the wildflowers. | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Intermediate Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2015 Registered: 12-2003 |
M, thank you. K |
